How do you say goodbye?

To be a Tiger mom or not a Tiger mom. How about the part about putting a child's heart first?  I'm sharing some thoughts from the perspective of a parent of a small child, age 4 going on 13, who recently decided to take a break from piano. This is my introspection on the right time to resume lessons.

My post is about having the strength to recognize a child's desire and dislike, having the courage to wait for a better opportunity in the future, and having a heart to understand the child's heart. The first step is just to be patient.

The Symptoms

Maggie has been happily playing her music by heart and I suspected she wasn't doing note reading, but I let it slide until recently.  Her other two classmates are boys her age and they are amazing at piano. The MYC  method truly works well for them, as they were just flying through the pieces and learning new ones ahead of time while Maggie and I were still working on the recital piece from before Christmas. On the plus side, her C major scale in the right hand and left hand are carefully executed. In the fall, the teacher taught them the C-G bridges to go with the tonic, mediant and dominant degrees of the C scale. She loved it! It was sad to see her level of interest and passion change.  Over the summer (6 months ago) she was very enamoured with the A minor scale! Now she sulks through it and I have to resort to bribery.

Then we started note reading on the staff with real notation and things just went downhill from there. She was always looking at my face and my reaction, more so than the notes on the page. I should've just let her look at the hands but I wanted to be sure she was reading. But after pointing out every note, she would wait for me to say the name and look at my face, which was not a smiley face unfortunately, which added to the tension. It got to the point where she would find every excuse not to practise piano.  Occasionally there would be the day where she would take out the "music rhythm bag" and copy out the music on the floor, which was startling! Or we would do the homework pages (though usually it was her younger brother AJ who did the homework part for there).  There were times when tears were shed; my precious tears that is. She had every excuse possible to get out of piano practise. It got to the point where she even would fall asleep at the group lesson (probably a Sunday afternoon scheduling issue).

For my child I poured my heart into, starting piano at age 3 with all the hope for her to be a child prodigy, I knew I couldn't keep this up until age 17 let alone 7. I decided to stop the lessons and perhaps resume at a more appropriate age for her.   I'm not proud that we couldn't finish the second year of piano lessons, that I let her stop in mid-February instead of pushing onwards to the end of June.  But I wanted to end on a good note, and we could say, "Let's have the last lesson, say good bye to your teacher."

Decision Making Steps

Identify the problem - Maggie loses interest and hates piano, loss of motivation to practise
List some solutions - stop lessons, change the teacher, change the method, (can't change the parent!)
Practical steps - Call the teacher and talk in person, be prepared to agree to disagree
Decisions - depending on the studio policy, lessons could be terminated with or without notice, ask for a refund for the remaining months (March to June)

In the end I had a heart to heart talk with her teacher, and we ended on good terms. I had referred many students to her, all doing very well, and I indicated that I would certainly continue to do the same.

After Action Report
It's been a week, Maggie has approached the piano to play her scales on her own once! This happened when it was my turn to practise piano. Perhaps that was the way to motivate her to the piano by hearing me play.  We are still keeping music alive as she still likes singing and directing the Mississippi Hot dog of Suzuki Book 1, looking for the right time to sit down and play it with her, though perhaps we should wait. The obvious question is, why don't I teacher her; well I would rather wait a bit.

Above all Maggie loves singing. She can listen to any song on the radio and start belting out the words in tune; she can improvise the words for any nursery rhyme with alternate lyrics; she teaches AJ her French songs from school and they sing together. I have a first recording of her singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" at 22 months, it's golden. Last summer at age 3.5 she was singing Jana Alayra songs from VBS and acting like an MC leading singspiration.  My husband has considered voice lessons for her or even joining a youth choir. There is talent and heart there, perhaps that is where we could apply it.

  

Teacher Perspectives
As a teacher, when did this happen to me and how did I deal with it.

• A high school student who lost interest and wanted to pursue a new hobby.  The siblings have since joined my studio
• A high school student who had a busy schedule with part time jobs, after school activities, and transportation issues; I recommended a more suitable location for piano lessons at the Long and McQuade Music School run by the music book store near to the high school.
• A 3 year old in my group class wasn't quite ready; she will try private lessons at 3.5 in the spring time.

On the other hand, I also have high school students very committed to competitive sports but still finding the time to schedule lessons, practise piano and excel. That's motivating for me, to see passion in the kids music.

Music Community

Found a list of piano teachers in Ottawa posted by the Leading Note. I put my name on the Roladex years ago, it's still funny everytime I stumble upon this list online.  My daughter's piano teacher is there too.
http://www.leadingnote.com/customers/music-teachers/piano/


Ottawa-Gatineau Suzuki Piano. I recently auditioned and was invited to join them, along with my  Suzuki students.  However because I was suddenly moving, I had to decline but fortunately I was able to connect with teachers from the group to transfer my students to.  There is a $140 registration for the students to be in the Suzuki Piano School, however it is well worth it with the Saturday group classes, recitals and concerts year round.
http://www.suzukipiano.on.ca/suzuki8.html

ARCT Blog. Seems like someone I have alot in common with. She's in IT, I'm in Engineering and we are both teaching piano and at various stages of reaching the ARCT.
http://sites.google.com/site/eleanorsmusic


ORMTA Ottawa Chapter Events.
Previously, to be of ORMTA you had to have a Masters Degree in Music or the full ARCT with six students who got First Class Honours in the RCM piano exams, with the annual fee being $300 which is why I never joined.  They didn't even advertise their events. But now they have also allowed memberships for teachers who have Grade 10 RCM and additional Pedagogy training (like me with the ARCT Beginners and Intermediate, Suzuki, etc) but that must be new so maybe I will join in if I end up teaching again in Trenton!
http://www.ormtaottawa.ca/Events.htm

Piano, Violin, Cello, Guitar, or Flute?

Not really sure if piano is for your child? Would you like to introduce him to other instruments and see what other kids are up to?

Ottawa Suzuki Headstart Program - Strings
The Suzuki Music School in Ottawa runs a week long music camp each summer for the students in Suzuki violin, cello, guitar and flute at the Canterbury High School. Formally, this is called a Summer Institute where the levels 1 to 8 are available.  The 2012 dates are not listed yet, but in previous summers this took place at the end of July.  Another course offered during that same week is the Headstart Program which is a five day workshop focusing on an introduction to musical concepts and rhythm instruments, and each day a string instrument is presented to the class. An older child from the camp will perform a short recital piece the younger children on his violin for example, and then invite everyone to have a turn to try it out.  The Headstart program actually runs all year on Saturdays for a series of 5 weekly lessons in the fall, winter and spring.

My daughter age 3 at the time, and son age 2 attended the class and they learned all about "Mississippi hot dog" and "pepperoni pizza". Here is more information quoted from the website:

Headstart Suzuki is a pre-instrumental programme designed to introduce three and four year olds to basic musical concepts and beginning Suzuki rhythms and repertoire. Emphasis is on rhythm, singing, motor development and aural training, aided by the playing of percussion instruments. There are 5 sessions per term; on Saturdays at Canterbury HS. The fee is $90 per term.
Download the Registration Form here, though check again for summer information.


Musicland Adventure Camp
I model my Musicland Adventure Camp course a bit like the Headstart Program, packed with more emphasis on Piano and Suzuki Book 1 music appreciation, for 10 lessons at the Pre-Twinkle level.  Children ages 3-5 are at the right age for group learning of early keyboard skills, pre-staff music reading, solfege pattern recognition, melody playback by ear and more!

ABOUT Musicland Adventure Camp (10 classes)
GROUP classes for ages 3-5 will involve storytelling, magical characters, interactive games, song and dance to introduce kids to playing piano at the introductory level. Topics include keyboard geography, right and left hand independent playing, note reading, music writing skills, music performance and beyond.

Royal Conservatory Smart Start
This program caught my eye but it must be only offered in Toronto. Sounds like it would be competing with other franchises like MYC, Making Music Together or Kindermusik. They classes for ages 0 to 12 months, 12 - 24 months, age 2, 4, 5, 6, 7+ Orff

A brief course description: Typical classes begin with the introduction of the day’s musical concept, often explained using a familiar rhyme, poem or song. Students further explore the concept by locating it in other songs or rhymes and improvising their own small musical pieces. Instruments used are un-pitched percussion, such as rhythm sticks, drums, etc., and pitched instruments, which have been designed specifically for the curriculum.


Judging a book by its cover, I would say this course sounds alot like my Musicland course though my target age group is 3-5, followed by private lessons in the Suzuki method.


Royal Suzuki Program
I found this on the Royal Conservatory of Music website for Violin and Cello. At one time there was a job posting for a Suzuki Piano Teacher at the RCM in Toronto requiring Suzuki Book 2 and a music degree.  Perhaps they are changing the approach to beginners piano and this is converging point of the two methods.